But there is more to it than that. The Rosh, Rabbeinu Asher, advises to never leave off making friends. This sounds a bit peculiar, though. For, if constructive criticism is principally what friends are for, one or two pairs of critical eyes are all that are needed. A crowded social calendar would seem superfluous.
But the more friends the better. Why? Because, in a sense, there is safety in numbers. By that I do not mean that if somebody tries to jump you in the street, you can call on your friends for help. We are talking about friends here, not a gang. Rather, this guideline is based on a deep understanding of the mechanics of justice in the world.
It goes something like this: G-d is the Judge of the world. G-d is also perfect. Therefore, His justice must also be perfect. If so, it is not sufficient that one who breaks the law be punished in exactly the right measure for his transgression; if G-d's justice is to be perfect it must also take into account anyone who suffers indirectly for that individual's punishment.
This is the secret hidden in the verse in Ha'azinu, "The Rock [G-d], His work is perfect, because all His ways are just, a G-d of truth without iniquity, just and right is He." (Deuteronomy 32:4) If it is already established that G-d is perfection, just and right, a G-d of truth," why is it necessary to say that He is "without iniquity"? Rather, it is as we have said, that from G-d's point of view, even the most perfect judgment would be iniquitous if, even indirectly, innocents were caused to suffer.
In G-d's system of justice, there is no such thing as collateral damage. If, for example, a murderer must be given capital punishment, that means that his family and friends (if he has any) will also suffer. Even the mother of a murderer suffers when her son is put to death. Perfect justice demands that she will not suffer bereavement unless she deserves it.
We can already observe this principle at work in the story of Creation. When Adam is told that he will be punished for the sin of eating of the Tree of Knowledge, the first punishment mentioned is that "the earth will be cursed because of you...thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you...in the sweat of your face shall you eat bread..." (Genesis 3:18-19.) Rashi explains that the earth would be cursed in that it would produce cursed things, such as flies, fleas and ants.
Why should the earth be cursed for what Adam had done? Surely, G-d could have found other ways to punish Adam without affecting the earth's productive capacity?
But the truth is that the earth was deserving of punishment, too. For originally the earth had been commanded to grow trees whose bark would have the taste of the fruit. The earth failed to follow the Divine command, however, and instead grew bark without the taste of the fruit. Had the earth not been deserving of a curse, G-d would indeed have found another way to afflict Adam, without affecting the earth. (Rashi, Siftei Chachamim, Levush to Genesis 1:11-12.) Thus, the principle of the perfection of Divine judgment is part of the design of Creation itself.
In the same vein, the rape of Jacob's daughter Dinah (Genesis, Chapter 34) has prompted numerous Torah commentators to ask what Jacob did to deserve this? The best-known is the one posited by Rashi. Earlier in the same chapter, he informs us that Jacob was to be punished for hiding his daughter from the wicked Esau, so that the latter would not try to marry her. Tradition maintains that had Dinah married Esau, her righteousness would have led Esau back onto the true path. Jacob allowed his personal feelings to interfere, indirectly preventing Esau's rehabilitation, and for this he was indirectly punished.
There are numerous other answers offered to the question, but the clear assumption of all the commentaries is that, although Dinah was, of course, the primary victim in the episode, her father also suffered because of it, and so there must be a reason for his suffering, too.
Nor are these purely abstract ideas, relegated to a remote cosmogony and ancient history. They can provide us with a guide for living every day. For by increasing one's circle of friends---good and moral friends---who do not deserve punishment, one is automatically increasing one's own life expectancy, and the quality of life, too.
I remember once waiting at a bus stop when a distinguished Torah scholar that I barely knew spotted me at some distance and called me over to offer me a ride home. When I got in, he explained that when he drives he always looks for opportunities to give people rides. Aside from the kindness involved, he saw it as a form of self-protection. Even if he might not have the merit to arrive home safely, if the person riding with him did, then it would afford him an extra measure of protection. That scholar is still alive, and as far as I know, has been driving for many years without an accident; and he continues giving free rides.
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